*Homestead & Hearthstone is reader-supported. When you purchase through one of the links on our website, we may earn an affiliate commission.*
When I started my first website (which has since been rebranded and moved to this new domain), I was fully immersed in parenthood, raising my two biological children. Eventually, I moved to a new state, remarried, and took on two bonus kids. To say this experience was a lot of work would be an understatement. For many years, it was a constant whirlwind of activities, school events, and doctor appointments. It was a delicate balancing act that took a toll on me, especially as I was battling health issues at the time and barely holding it together. Self-care was NOT something I practiced at all, which is why my mental and physical health got so bad that I could no longer ignore the reality of what I was struggling with.
Now, at 42 (almost 43), my relationship with my children-biological and bonus-has shifted significantly, as has my health. Three of the four are now adults; the youngest turns 18 in September. I also now prioritize my physical and mental health, and I’m healthier than I have been in a long time.
Our most significant change came in November 2023 when our granddaughter was born. Our daughter’s pregnancy was unexpected by all of us, but it was not unwelcome. It brought the most precious gift into our lives: our granddaughter, Baby L.
The First Shift: Letting Go of ” The Timeline”
Becoming a grandmother at 41 was not on my radar. I figured I would be around 45-50 when it happened with my hair beginning to gray, but life had different plans for us, as it so often does, and it threw us a curveball we didn’t see coming.
Sure, we had discussed our future grandchildren when we bought the house we now live in. One of the biggest reasons we purchased this property was because of the gigantic front yard and lack of neighbors. We wanted a rural property where our future grandchildren could play without worry, where they could get their feet dirty, and be exposed to the country life, something that helped shape me into the person I am today. Even though we were considering what the future would eventually bring, we never expected it to happen as early as it did. Still, our upgrade in title from parent to grandparent is one we welcomed with open arms.
Embracing a New Identity
I only had so much energy to give, and it all went to ensuring they all had what they needed. And while the four kids are now self-sufficient and living their own lives, it doesn’t mean our sleepless nights filled with worry have gone away, because they haven’t—anyone who tells you that when your children become adults, the worrying stops is full of shit. Yeah, you stop worrying about certain things, but others take their place.
Our oldest struggled a bit with her first delivery. We almost lost her. She had to have a c-section after four-plus hours of pushing with little progress, and she nearly bled out on the table.
As for our granddaughter, she ended up in the NICU due to a collapsed lung. Her head was also flattened somewhat due to being engaged in her mom’s pelvis for so long. But Baby L was a little NICU warrior and bounced back very fast. And if you could see her today, you would see a baby girl with tons of energy and sass, giving her parents a run for their money. She is the bright spot of joy we all needed. And while our new identities came about so much faster than expected, we wouldn’t change any of this for the world.
Grandbaby #2
Our daughter’s second pregnancy and delivery were also complicated, and in turn made it harder on all the grandparents because we were fraught with worry. Anytime the phone rang or we got a text from her or her husband, we panicked because we didn’t know what awaited us on the other end. And while the delivery wasn’t as traumatic as her first one, there were still complications, and our grandson, Baby W, was born at 35 weeks and just under 5lbs. He’s incredibly tiny but a little fighter, just like his big sister. He is doing very well despite a short NICU stay.
The Magic in the Mess
Being a young grandparent has brought a new kind of magic into my life – and not the sparkly and fairy-dust kind. The magic we are dealing with now involves tiny fingers wrapped around ours. It’s watching our children transition into parenthood. It’s being young enough to change our grandbabies around and enjoy it.
If You’re in This Space Too…
To those like me, who find themselves stepping into the role of a grandparent much younger than they anticipated, please know you’re not alone, and it’s all going to be okay. Yes, life is going to change. And you’re entitled to feel all the different emotions flowing through your body. Trust me, we went through a plethora of emotions too. We needed time to process it all and define our roles as grandparents. We needed to figure out what we wanted to be called. (We settled on Bunny and PopPop.)
But I encourage you to embrace the change with open arms and optimism. While the shift for us was unexpected, we were reminded once again that some of the greatest moments of growth in life occur when we least expect them to and lead us down beautiful, chaotic, and rewarding paths in ways we never anticipated.
Final Thoughts
Life doesn’t always wait for us to be “ready” for something to happen. It often throws us curveballs and forces us to rise up and embrace the new role bestowed upon us. I look forward to sharing what life as a young grandparent is like and how we navigate it while still following through on our goals and falling in love with this unexpected chapter.